Apparently the prozac was doing something, so stopping cold turkey was a hella bad idea. Who knew? Oh right everyone, and they warned me. I’m now back on a 3/4 dose and I no longer want to peel my face off like that guy at the start of Nightbreed. I still suspect that mainly what the drug is doing is stopping me from getting withdrawals from not taking it. Don’t get me wrong it was 100% helping me from going all Sylvia Plath at various points over the past decade, it’s just not great for my creativity, or engagement with the world.

I’m frustrated that I couldn’t just stop and ride it out, but it will probably take a while to get my own supply of serotonin firing again, so its a 12 week taper, which towards the end will involve some tiny scales and cutting pills into increasingly tiny amounts.

I’m going to be really annoyed if I go to all this faffing about and I’m a depressed mess without the SSRIs and don’t get a bump in creativity to go along with my emo-ness. At the moment I’m just trying to manage the change of not taking a pill of an afternoon, cause I’m getting a bit headachy and headkicky by about dinner time. I’m trying to remind myself that even small amounts of progress is still progress.

It’s only one step back…