I’m having a hell of time focusing on things at the moment. Things are getting done, in a haphazard fashion, but it’s mostly the essentials and often even those are behind schedule. One of the kids had a shower and there weren’t any clean towels. I kind of feel things like that fall into the bare minimum of life category. Towels, teaspoons, and clean underwear are the low bar.

I just had to stop typing to put on a 2nd load of washing, and check that I did push the start button on the dishwasher. Spoiler alert, I didn’t. I’m sure the whole health/trauma/exhaustion spiral is the main issue with my inability to concentrate, but also the weening off prozac, sleep that’s lightly peppered with night terrors, and a household schedule that is random at best, chaotic at worst, doesn’t help.

The idea of getting back into some kind of routine is laughable at the moment. Everyday is a different set of plates to spin, and sometimes it’s easier to just let a few of them fall. Seems the laundry plate took a dive this week, along with the making some follow up appointments plate, and the returning messages plate. Someone has some sweeping up to do.

I’m at a loss at the moment for any solution. Do I cut back nonessential things and just focus 100% on my health, and keeping the house functioning for the kids? Do I try and be more regimented so I can squeeze more stuff in to the day? Do I just keep going the way I am until it breaks me?

I think I’ve reached the point where I can no longer run on adrenaline, and sheer bloody mindedness. It would probably be a good idea to just take a few days off and avoid the circus for a bit.