I woke up with my shoulders on fire from a few days of working above my head on rafters and ceilings. The desire to take some painkillers and lay on the couch all day was very strong. Luckily it’s only a couple of days after a new year so there is a still a sliver of hope that maybe this will be a productive year with purpose.

The other motivator was the voice in my head telling me not to NOT LET THE OLD MAN IN.

Aging is inevitable, debilitating illness a definite possibility, but shuffling about and giving up is pretty sure way to speed up the decline. I have also discovered that you don’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows about it, you can be annoyed and angry about it the whole time and still keep going. Sometimes I need to choose anger and bloody mindedness when all else fails. I will finish this bloody job and complain the entire time is okay, but only if you finish.

The problem with being your own boss is that you’re in charge of keeping your only employee motivated. I spend a lot of time alternating between bribes, encouragement, and threats of beatings, and since I am also the HR department the complaints have been ignored.