I’m really sick of struggling being my whole personality at the moment. Objectively I get it because it has been a hell of a few years and that stuff would grind anyone into a thick unpleasant paste, but still… Complicated children, some health issues, and a sprinkling of poor decision seasoning all added to a…

As any technically minded individual will be able to tell you all electronic devices have an inner core of magic smoke that makes them function. Which is why when you see a puff of smoke escaping from your laptop it doesn’t work anymore, because of the lack of aforementioned magic smoke. Although I am not…

Today at the farm I saw a tawny frogmouth owl. I have never seen one there (or anywhere) before, let alone a stones throw from where I was. I will acknowledge that they have a very effective camouflage routine of pretending to be a branch so it’s possible it has been there and I haven’t…

Today was a day off from working on the the cabin, so I set the fire to the beacons. Yes I did say Gondor calls for aid! as the flames took hold. There is something about tending a fire that pushes everything else out of my mind for a while. It’s a task that requires…

When I went through a serious bout of PSTD induced insomnia a few years ago I was pretty much ready to check out a few times. But with a lot of work and a very strict sleep routine I managed to reset myself and get back to a more or less normal sleep schedule. Which…

I’m still recovering from todays endo and colonoscopy, they rummaged around quite a bit apparently. It certainly feels like they did and any food I put in is making a quicker than normal journey through. From the still slightly buzzed chat with the surgeon I have an exciting new regimen of drugs to look forward…

Well, maybe great is overselling it, how about “The lets turn this period of turmoil into something positive with the energy and resources we have available at the moment”. Now that may not roll off the tongue, but it is a probably a great deal more accurate. The elder child is leaving the nest and…

In an attempt to make progress at the cabin I have decided to throw something out the window. What I mainly ended up throwing out the window was shards of glass from the window I naively thought I could remove without damaging. It turns out I don’t really have the skills or patience for that…

Proper anxiety attacks are a funny old thing. Well I mean terrifying and confusing, but also funny in that kind of way where you realize that you are an idiot. I had a full on proper sweaty, pulse racing, chest clutching panic attack today. I literally thought I was dying and yet did nothing to…