I went out to the farm today, and yes that after yesterday that definitely falls into the what the hell were you thinking category, but it was sort of unplanned. After dropping Thing1 at work, Thing2 and I went and grabbed a takeaway coffee, and possibly pastries (there was definitely pastries). Then with snacks and drinks in hand, and a child that didn’t want to go home I suggested a drive in the countryside.

So 30 mins later we where at the farm.

For the first time since my fathers death Thing2 actually wanted to go into the house, where we discussed what the plans for the house are going to be, and sat down to finish to finish our coffees. It all seemed to be going smoothly when I popped to the bathroom for a minute, only to return to a weeping child. So I’m really spreading the upset around this week. We hugged, and decided that was a enough facing things for day, and headed down to the village for a look around.

A new art gallery has opened, and after taking bets on how many amateur Australian landscape paintings we would find, we went in. The gallery turned out to be a room, and the we won our bets on the artistic contents. While we politely looked at the pictures we made small talk with the woman running things. Yes our first visit, no not from far away, yes kind of local… and this is were I mentioned taking over the property just past the bridge, where of course she puts 2 and 2 together and still only manages to get to three. It seems she went to school with my stepmother, and was sad to here she died, and hadn’t seen my father about lately and asked if something had happened to him.

Luckily I heard about this trick where you can prevent yourself crying by clenching your butt really tight, it’s great for when you don’t want to have weird emotional outbursts in front of strangers. I’m amazed how many butt cures there are for things, including hiccups. But I digress (often), we got out of the gallery of awkward silences and awful landscapes fairly unscathed, and headed for home.

I’ve come to the conclusion that even having someone with me in the house doesn’t solve the not being able to be there for long issue. It’s a sensory thing that is only going to be solved by removing every internal part of the house and starting again. Which probably means paying someone to do the demolition because I can’t make much progress 10mins at a time. I can work outside for hours without a problem, so it’s definitely a house thing.

Now that the weather has cooled, and the probate has settled I know I need to get out there at least a couple of full days a week. I think it’s going to be all outside stuff for a while though. I even considered putting a caravan out so the kids had somewhere to hang out while I was working, but that seems a bit insanely wasteful. I wish I wasn’t so pathologically against camping, even one of those enormous hipster tents can’t convince me that life under canvas is worth the effort. I’m to accustomed to life’s little luxuries, like floors and walls. Maybe I’ll put in a fancy tent for guests, because I do seem to know a lot of people who like that kind of thing, and it’s easier than having them in the house.

I’m going to take a week or so doing paperwork and planning stuff, but after that I really need to get back out there and get back to work.