Tag: bereavement
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Oh that’s why…
Tiny moments of awareness sometimes sneak up on you. This morning while making a coffee for the second born, I was thinking about how calm it made me to be carefully making coffee for them even when I am exhausted or sick. It’s because I miss making coffee for my father. My fathers visits were…
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Winter Days…
June is usually a bad month for me, not least because it’s my birthday on the 8th, and while I’ve never had a healthy relationship with it as a day it kind of really started to become stressful about 17 years ago with the death of my stepmother. Her birthday was on the 6th of…
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Am I doing it Deliberately?
Thirty minutes ago I managed to trigger a full on PTSD attack in the supermarket with my own voice… and I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. I spent the day yesterday with my X-Wife, happily doing her a favor but also selfishly spending a day with a grownup with a brain for the first time…
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Mountains or Icebergs…
Just when you think you’re getting over things something happens that makes you realize you definitely have some work to do. I text with my ex-wife on semi regular basis, we share two kids and years of experiences so that’s kind of understandable. Normally it can go days in between responses, from both of us…
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Holes…
It’s been a hard day, which is why I’ve been in super distract myself mode. In the past I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t joke/spend/eat etc my way through. But I seem to have lost that ability, my dark humour that used to get me through things isn’t really working anymore, in fact I’ve…
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Anecdotally of Course…
I’m not the man I used to be, and I don’t have any science to prove it. One year ago I caught covid, and it knocked me on my butt. It took me months to shake the fatigue, brain fog parts, which might be why it took so long to notice the other changes. I’ve…
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Shhhh…
Let’s not tip the year off that it’s almost over, because we don’t want to give it chance to do something else horrible before midnight. I’d like to think next year will be better, but it’s been on a fairly horrid downhill trajectory since at least 2016. I’m not saying that David Bowie dying somehow…
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It Sneaks Up…
I’ve been feeling increasingly out of sorts all day. The objectionable sharp tongued me that I don’t like and rarely surfaces these days has been let out today, and I didn’t know why. I’m tired and stressed and that’s pretty much homeostasis for me at the moment. And then it hit me… my social media…
Fat Bunny 