[record scratch, followed by silence].

Sorry Chumbawamba I’m not felling particularly resilient at the moment so I’m staying down.

I don’t know if it’s exhaustion, illness, depression, or good old fashioned per Christmas angst with a dollop of grief, but I’m not up to pushing through it whatever it is. Maybe it’s all of them?

I have a doctors appointment in a few days, and the note I’m writing on the back of my empty valium packet, with all my current symptoms and concerns is a bit longer than expected. I’m also worried about getting a reprimand for not going to the psych he recommended (or any other). Maybe if the PTS was all I had going on I would be more inclined to try and talk about it, but honestly I don’t need the hassle at the moment.

My solution today is just to ignore stuff and lay down for a while…