Just when you think you’re getting over things something happens that makes you realize you definitely have some work to do.

I text with my ex-wife on semi regular basis, we share two kids and years of experiences so that’s kind of understandable. Normally it can go days in between responses, from both of us because we are both awful people who don’t respond to things immediately… and that’s fine. Last night I messaged about something that I thought we get a within a day or two response, definitely nothing urgent. But this afternoon when I hadn’t heard back, my brain decided to go back to trying to contact my father. And oh boy did it go back, full on flashback panic attack back. I was literally 30 seconds from jumping in the car to go check on her, which of course sent me into an even more serious PTSD state, when she called.

She of course was freaking out that something had happened to one of the kids because my 200 messages were out of character. Which of course is a far more legitimate reaction than mine. She had been at the dentist all day, and then was trapped under her new kitten that had fallen asleep on her (totally valid reason).

So I apologized for being a tad dramatic, and let her return to being furniture for cat. I think I sort of, kinda, almost explained my overreaction, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t explained to anyone how much “that day” messed up my brain and burned some pretty serious images and feelings directly into my head.