Category: journal
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Winter Days…
June is usually a bad month for me, not least because it’s my birthday on the 8th, and while I’ve never had a healthy relationship with it as a day it kind of really started to become stressful about 17 years ago with the death of my stepmother. Her birthday was on the 6th of…
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There’s Your Problem…
I went out to the farm today, and yes that after yesterday that definitely falls into the what the hell were you thinking category, but it was sort of unplanned. After dropping Thing1 at work, Thing2 and I went and grabbed a takeaway coffee, and possibly pastries (there was definitely pastries). Then with snacks and…
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Am I doing it Deliberately?
Thirty minutes ago I managed to trigger a full on PTSD attack in the supermarket with my own voice… and I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. I spent the day yesterday with my X-Wife, happily doing her a favor but also selfishly spending a day with a grownup with a brain for the first time…
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That House from Lethal Weapon 2…
I was a man desperately in need of a metaphor or a simile. Or perhaps a definition of which is which? I tried all variations of falling boots, and life’s similarities to various roads large and small. I even looked into the weight baring nature of ungulates. But in the end I went with a…
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It’s Been One Week…
Since you looked at meThrew your arms in the air and said, “You’re crazy”. Also it’s been one week since my last prozac tablet, or to be precise my last 1/8th of a tablet. After a couple of months of tapering I can assume it’s pretty much out of my system now. And do I…
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Lab Work…
It’s been a long week, and one of those especially difficult ones where I am forced to keep the fixed grin of functioning on. I was doing pretty well until about lunchtime when the wheels came off completely. Nothing dramatic just the proverbial straw on a camel thing. To be honest it wasn’t going to…
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How Long Do You Need?
About a year apparently, or that is how long it took to go from maximalist bordering on hoarding to a not quite minimalist, but definitely under control regular amount of stuff type person. After a few years of chronic illness, and several more of untreated clinical depression the world decided to have a pandemic. What…
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Mountains or Icebergs…
Just when you think you’re getting over things something happens that makes you realize you definitely have some work to do. I text with my ex-wife on semi regular basis, we share two kids and years of experiences so that’s kind of understandable. Normally it can go days in between responses, from both of us…
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Holes…
It’s been a hard day, which is why I’ve been in super distract myself mode. In the past I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t joke/spend/eat etc my way through. But I seem to have lost that ability, my dark humour that used to get me through things isn’t really working anymore, in fact I’ve…
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Anecdotally of Course…
I’m not the man I used to be, and I don’t have any science to prove it. One year ago I caught covid, and it knocked me on my butt. It took me months to shake the fatigue, brain fog parts, which might be why it took so long to notice the other changes. I’ve…
Fat Bunny 